29. Goals and Targets

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One skill of the self-manager is the ability to achieve goals. The technique we use in our program for attaining goals is target setting, which involves translating a goal into a series of small, realistic steps or targets. (Other self-help programs use this technique, but they may call it by different names, such as contracting or making an action plan.)

Target setting involves three steps: making a realistic short-term plan, carrying it out, and evaluating the results.

Make a Plan

A target has two characteristics: it is specific and realistic. Specific means that a target is concrete and measurable. For example, instead of saying "I want to get more rest," you say "I will rest 15 minutes in the late morning on four days in the next week." The plan you create should answer the following questions:

• What specifically will you do? For example, will you rest, phone a friend or take a series of walks?
  
• How much? If your target is to rest, will you rest for 15 minutes, an hour or some other length of time?
  
• When? Will you rest in the morning, afternoon, evening or some combination?
  
• How often? How many days a week will you do your target? You may want to do something daily, but you're more likely to succeed if you allow yourself some "breathing room" by aiming to do something several times a week rather than every day.

To test whether your target is realistic, ask your self how confident you are that you can complete your target as stated. Answer by giving a number between 0 and 10, where 0 means "not confident at all" and 10 means "totally confident." Your confidence level is your estimation of how sure you are that you can complete the target in its entirety, not a measure of how much of the target you will complete.

If the answer is 8 or higher, you have a good chance to succeed. If your confidence level is lower than 8, restate your goal in less ambitious terms. For example, you can increase your chances of success if you reduce the number of times per week that you rest from everyday to four or five days. Or, for an exercise target, reduce the length of time you exercise from 15 minutes to ten minutes.

An alternative response if your confidence is low is to ask what might stop you from achieving your goal. For example, if you want to exercise outside, bad weather might make that difficult. If you can identify potential problems, you may be able to come up with solutions.

Alternative ways to exercise in bad weather might be to walk in a mall or use an exercise video at home. Once you have considered alternatives, you can ask yourself if your confidence level has changed. Stop this process once your answer is 8 or higher, meaning that you are quite confident that you can complete the whole target as stated.

You are more likely to succeed if you keep a few other ideas in mind. First, your target should be something that you want to do, not something that others want or something that you think you "should" do. Second, start by setting a one target per week. This gives you a chance to learn how to use targeting.

It takes a while to develop a new skill. The purpose of target setting is to help you have an experience of taking an active role in managing your illness. Third, accept yourself as you are and begin by aiming to make a small change. If you do, you are likely to succeed and your success will build on itself, boosting your self-confidence.

Implement

After you have formulated your plan, write it down. In our groups, we use a target form that is divided into three sections. Click on the link for a printable version of this form. All our forms are available in the Logs, Forms and Worksheets section of our library.

Write your target and confidence level in the section labeled "My Target." Putting your intention in writing helps strengthen your commitment. Other ways to make it more likely that you will follow through include telling other people about your plan and posting your target in a place where you are likely to see it frequently, such as on the refrigerator.

As the week unfolds, track your efforts by filling out the second section of the form, "Results." Use this space to write down what you've done and any problems that have arisen. Putting your experience in writing is a good way to hold yourself accountable and thereby increase your chances for success.

Evaluate

At the end of a week, evaluate your results by asking how successful you were in meeting your target. The two most common problems people experience in target setting are not being specific and being too ambitious. The solution to the first is to ask whether your target answers the four questions of what, how much, when and how often. The solution to the second is to ask whether your confidence level is at least 8 on a scale of 0 to 10.

Even if your target is well stated and seems realistic, you may still experience problems. Perhaps the unpredictability of your illness prevents you from completing the target as planned. Or, you may decide that your target is not realistic at this time. But, whatever the results, you can learn from your efforts. To help you gain something positive regardless of the outcome, fill out the "Lessons" section of the form.

It can be helpful to view your target setting as a series of experiments. If you meet your target, you have a successful experiment and can gain some control over your illness. If the results are different from your expectations, you can learn something useful about your illness by reflecting on your experience.

Sample Targets

You can make a target in practically any area of life. Here are some real examples used by people in our program.

Rest for 20 minutes each: late morning and mid-afternoon
Taking scheduled rests is one of the most common targets used by people in our groups. For more on rest, see the chapter on pacing strategies.

Go to bed by 10 pm
The person who set this target wanted to re-establish a more normal routine after staying up later and later.

Get off computer after 30 minutes
You can set a target not to do something or to set a limit on how much you do.

Find a nanny to help with childcare
Both the woman who set this target and her daughter have CFS. The mother thought that by having someone come in several times a week, her daughter would have more companionship and the mother could have some free time.

Talk to my wife about our relationship
The man who set this target was worried about the extra responsibilities imposed on his wife by his illness and wondered how they could handle all the uncertainty created by his CFS. Making this commitment to his class motivated him to have a long-postponed conversation.

Read a book for pleasure
This target was used by a person who thought that the demands of family and illness had squeezed all the pleasure out of her life. It may seem paradoxical to schedule pleasure, but it worked.

One Person's Experience

Let's look at the experience one person in our program had with her first target. This woman found the idea of scheduled rest periods appealing as a way to reduce her symptoms. Using the idea of rest as lying down with her eyes closed in a quiet place, she set a target of resting 15 minutes every afternoon for a week. This target answered the four questions. It defined what she was going to do (rest), how much (15 minutes), when (afternoon), and how often (daily).

Next she asked herself how confident she was that she could complete the target as stated. Her answer was 6. She realized that she wasn't confident she could do something every day, so she changed her target to aim for four days rather than every day. With this less ambitious goal, she rated her confidence at 8. She wrote her target as:

She began the week successfully, resting for 15 minutes on Monday afternoon. She got up feeling more energetic and less brain fogged. On Tuesday, she lay down as scheduled but got up after a few minutes when the phone rang. The call was from a friend and they talked for half an hour.

When the call ended, she gave up on the idea of rest for that day. On Wednesday, she unplugged the phone before lying down. A call came in during her rest, but she let the answering machine take it. She got up feeling refreshed by the rest.

On Thursday, she did some errands in the mid-afternoon and didn't attempt a nap. She rested on Friday, but got up feeling worse. She felt preoccupied by a worry about her daughter's progress in school. Her mind was spinning during her rest. As a result, the time lying down didn't feel very restful.

The entries she made in the "Results" section of her target form were as follows:

Lastly, she evaluated her experience with rest. She congratulated herself on nearly meeting her target. She rested 15 minutes for three days, with some rest on a fourth. She concluded that her experience was enough to show her the value of resting. She had more energy after at least some of the rests, gaining a sense that rest might offer a way to control her illness.

In thinking about the worry that had interfered with her rest on Friday, she remembered hearing about relaxation techniques and asked herself whether she might practice them while resting. She thought that doing so might help her rest her mind as well as her body, giving her a way to reduce her worry. In the "Lessons" section of her target form, she wrote:

Resting can be helpful. Want to try relaxation as part of rest.

Getting Started

Now it's your turn. Think of a problem that bothers you. Pick just one and commit to making a start today. Then, brainstorm several possible solutions, things that might reduce or solve your problem. After reviewing them, pick one to try in the next week and write down a target that answers the four questions: what, how much, when and how often?

Once you've stated your target, ask yourself how confident you are that you can complete it successfully. Give your confidence a number between 0 (meaning no confidence) and 10 (totally confident). If your confidence is less than 8, restate your goal in less ambitious terms.

Once you have a target and feel confident about achieving it, you're ready to go. Give your target a try for a week, and then look at the results. If you meet your target, congratulate yourself. If you don't, ask yourself what lessons you can learn from the experience.